


It's all over but the crying

by AtomBombBaby (StartAFlame)



Category: Fallout (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Nuka World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 16:46:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18183182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StartAFlame/pseuds/AtomBombBaby
Summary: It's Shauns birthday, and the overboss has a rare emotional moment thinking of what was and what could have been.(contains end-game spoilers)





	It's all over but the crying

Eris sighs  
She'd been awake for hours but the raider she's in the arms of had an iron grip and slept like the dead, considering his profession you'd think he'd sleep a little lighter.  
Feeling Gage's arms getting a little more loose from where he held her, she thought to herself 'fuck it' and picked his arm off of her, dropping it back to his side after she'd risen from the bed.  
She just wanted to get drunk.  
Making her way outside and into the front of Fizztop Eris looks out to the park, you'd think at this time of the morning it'd be silent but alas, there were raiders making merry in the streets just below her, celebrating the recent success of claiming yet another section of Nuka World, no thanks to them; It was her and Gage that'd actually done all the work.  
Opening the fridge she mutters to herself that she wouldn't be mixing her drink with Nuka Cola this time, stay in the park long enough and you'll get sick of the damm thing and all it's variants- surprising considering she'd thought it'd be amazing to live here before the war, Shaun would've probably loved it too.  
But anything to do with Shaun can remain only in her memories and dreams, he's gone and there's nothing she can do about it.  
Collapsing onto one of the chairs with a defeated sigh, Eris takes a swig of her whiskey; straight out of the bottle, and flicks through the 'You're special!' book that she could never find it in herself to throw away, nor could she let go of the various Nuka World souvenirs that littered the Fizztop Grille, she refused to stop picking them up whenever she saw a new one, being sick of Nuka World but knowing that she would've given them all to Shaun were he still a child.  
She cries softly into her hand as the radio plays quietly in the background.  
'It's all over but the crying,  
And nobody's crying but me.  
Friends all over know I'm trying,  
To forget about how much I care for you.  
It's all over but the dreaming,  
Poor little dreams that keep trying to come true.  
It's all over but the crying,  
And I can't get over crying over you...' she sings along quietly, brokenly.  
Eris had lost everything, and today was just a horrible reminder of that. If she weren't trying to keep up her tough girl act she'd stay in bed all day instead of facing anyone; but hey, at least she can use all those pent up emotions to fuel her plans for the day Mirelurks are hardly an easy fight or- Nukalurks she guesses they're called here.  
She's so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't hear the doors opening, didn't hear or see Gage till he was taking his seat in front of her.  
''Hey boss, what's got ya lookin so down?''  
He asks.  
And that made it all the more real, talking about it,  
''It would be Shauns birthday today.'' she says, quick and monotone. The raider seems to understand, Eris hadn't talked a lot about Shaun, at least not the Shaun of the past. She'd expressed hatred for the Institute and how they'd risen Shaun, how he hadn't received the upbringing he should have had, how despite that she couldn't muster the courage to take synth Shaun with her. What? So she could fail as a parent again? She'd been helpless for all those years while her baby was being raised by no better than monsters.  
''If you need to talk, i'm here to listen boss.''  
Gage brings her our of her thoughts.  
''I'd hate to burden you with that, you've got enough on your plate you don't need my emotional bullshit to add to it''  
She wanted to talk so bad, why didn't post-war have any therapists? Probably wouldn't be as many fucked up people if there were.  
''No, I want to listen. You've done a lot for me, it's the least I can do.'' Gage insists.  
And here come the waterworks.  
''I miss him Gage. I miss my baby, the Shaun I should have raised. He didn't have the life he could have and it's all because some assholes had so much pride that they nuked everything to prove their damm point.'' She spits out, fist clenching around her bottle; how it hadn't broken yet was anyones guess.  
''It should've been Nate to make it out. He'd have found Shaun sooner, probly woulda changed his mind, made him leave the institute. He was always good with words like that.'' Eris chuckles bitterly, downing some more of the whiskey in the miraculously unbroken bottle.  
''Shaun didn't get to have the life we'd dreamed for him. Didn't get to grow up in the American dream. Didn't get to go out and play sports with his dad, didn't get to go to school like a normal child. And I didn't get to be a mother.'' She tears up,  
''It ain't fair Gage! I lost my baby! And I wake up years later only to be the very person to kill him! Him and everything he worked for!''  
Eris sobs out, covering her face with her hands- this isn't very raider like. She wouldn't blame Gage for shooting her where she sits, The overboss shouldn't be so emotional.  
So she's surprised to feel a dip in the seat followed by arms wrapping around her.  
Gage didn't say anything, just let her cry it out. Rocking her slowly, soothingly. The only sounds the occasional sobs,the radio and those damm unsleeping raiders. still talking in the background as the sun comes up over the park.

'It's all over but the crying  
And nobody's crying but me  
Friends all over know I'm trying  
To forget about how much I care for you  
It's all over but the dreaming  
Poor little dreams that keep trying to come true  
It's all over but the crying  
And I can't get over crying over you...'

...She hadn't told Gage it was her birthday too.


End file.
